Examines the qualities of successful mentors and offers suggestions for effective mentoring. Mentors, mentoring program staff, and other child care professionals get detailed information about the 10 features of successful mentors’ attitudes and styles, which involve: (1) being a friend, including not acting like a parent or authority figure; (2) setting realistic goals and expectations, including focusing on the child’s or youth’s overall development and emphasizing friendship over performance; (3) having fun with one’s mentee; (4) giving the mentee a voice and a choice in deciding on activities, including encouraging negotiation about activities; (5) being positive, including being supportive about troublesome subjects and offering concrete assistance; (6) letting the mentee have much of the control over the subject and manner of conversations; (7) listening without criticizing; (8) respecting the trust the mentee places in the mentor, including conveying an understanding of the mentee’s point of view; (9) remembering that the relationship is with the youth, not the parents; and (10) understanding that it is the mentor’s responsibility to build the relationship. Mentors who take these approaches more likely will succeed in building a friendship and developing trust and making a difference in the lives of youth.
